Jailbreak Copypastas!

Post here to make your own Jailbreak copypastas! Heres one of mines


To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand being a good warden. It is very easy wardening, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Wardens nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Gefangnis, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who be a shit warden truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the stuffs about warden existential catchphrase “Leaving line AR,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ?

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Jailbreak Tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the Prisoners and Good wardens only’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ?

erjon stop doing an exist.

"commit die" will always be a classic

War has changed. It's no longer about nations, ideologies or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines. War, and its consumption of life, has become a well-oiled machine. War has changed. ID tagged soldiers carry ID tagged weapons, use ID tagged gear. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilities. Genetic control. Information control. Emotion control. Battlefield control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control. War has changed. The age of deterrence has become the age of control. All in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass destruction. And he who controls the battlefield, controls history. War has changed. When the battlefield is under total control, war... becomes routine.

Line up. Leaving line AR.
Please go to the line. Leaving line will cause the prisoner's death.
I'll order you to line up on the exact line in front of the cells, also I'd like to add that abandoning it is not authorized. Abandoning it will cause the death of the prisoner leaving the line.
Since I'm the Warden I'll tell you orders before 9:00 ; Get on the line in front of the cells without any hold-up or destination changes. Also stepping down the straight yellow delineation made out of plates will determine convinct's immediate cessation via projectiles.
l i n e   u p   o r   g e t   d e t a h   a l s o    n o   l e a v e   l i n e .