The Crimson Prince (Episodes 1-4)
Started by Ostinyo




34 posts in this topic
Ostinyo
Super Admin

383 posts 22 threads Joined: Jan 2017
05-21-2017, 01:43 AM -
#21
Could be, thanks for reading that quick draft. I'm actually now considering revising a lot of the end bits so that Azuma's first match doesn't happen until next episode and the other countries get some more development.

Another reader has also brought up concerns that Azuma doesn't seem to have a clear motive and that the conflict is a bit weak. I'd be interested to see if you agree and if you have any ideas to remedy the present lack of antagonism.


Messages In This Thread
The Crimson Prince (Episodes 1-4) - by Ostinyo - 02-28-2017, 03:14 AM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Clockworker - 02-28-2017, 08:55 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Ostinyo - 02-28-2017, 10:29 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Communism - 02-28-2017, 10:35 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Padillac - 02-28-2017, 10:41 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Ostinyo - 02-28-2017, 11:40 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Ostinyo - 03-27-2017, 03:43 PM
RE: Manoyama Files - Episode 1 - by Communism - 03-27-2017, 05:08 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Ostinyo - 04-04-2017, 04:03 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Communism - 04-04-2017, 09:38 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Communism - 04-24-2017, 12:07 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Ostinyo - 04-24-2017, 02:22 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Communism - 04-24-2017, 02:42 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Ostinyo - 04-24-2017, 03:04 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Communism - 04-24-2017, 03:11 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Ostinyo - 04-24-2017, 05:40 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-3) - by Communism - 05-15-2017, 08:56 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-4) - by Ostinyo - 05-16-2017, 06:20 AM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-4) - by Communism - 05-20-2017, 08:30 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-4) - by Ostinyo - 05-21-2017, 01:43 AM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-4) - by Communism - 05-21-2017, 08:16 PM
RE: Manoyama Files (Episodes 1-4) - by Ostinyo - 05-21-2017, 10:52 PM

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