Poll: Seabear or Meatbrick? (Should be obvious which one)
This poll is closed.
Seabear (choose this one)
100.00%
1 100.00%
Meatbrick (do not choose this one)
0%
0 0%
Total 1 vote(s) 100%
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My goldfish
Started by Rocket




1 posts in this topic
Rocket
Moderator

313 posts 13 threads Joined: Apr 2017
05-16-2019, 08:57 PM -
#1
Yeah, sure, this stupid forum is dead. But why not change it up a bit? Hmmm?

Ah, this is not changing it up at all, you say?

Guess you might be right.

But I know all of you beautiful bastards haven't really known my goldfish yet.

And, let me say this one thing, you are definitely missing out.

Seabear, the most handsome goldfish alive, beautiful flowing fins, an adorable mohawk, full-of-life eyes and his big ass tail, consuming up most of the tank (no homo). Greeting me as I come home everyday, knowing when his feeding times are, being a wonderful dancer, and best of all, a goldfish God.

Meatbrick, the retarded fish of the 20 gallon tank. Ah, yes, you may think I am being mean to Meatbrick just because of Seabear's beauty, right? Oh, how wrong you are. Meatbrick is an actual dumb fish, he probably needs some sort of mental help, Meatbrick does. At first glance, he may just look like a normal, but extremely derpy fish, yes? But if you were to watch Meatbrick for more than a couple seconds, which isn't advised due to keeping your eyesight, you will see his true colors. Meatbrick, the black moor goldfish, has huge eyes. He's one of those bubbled eye goldfish, except he's pure black, hence why they call him a "black moor". Yeah, sure, this is no reason to call him these things, right? Wrong, once again! Meatbrick's right eye at further inspection reveals it is not only wider than his left, but it is also longer. Extremely creepy, but no reason to call him retarded, yes? OH, SO WRONG YOU ARE! Ah, but, we shall not go into his behavior yet, oh no, that is saved for last. Watching this scary fish, you see that, strangely, he keeps his left side of his body COMPLETELY UPWARDS for no reason at all. Perhaps it is to balance out his right eye? Who knows, I shall never understand this fish. Onto further inspection of said Meatbrick in question, you start to notice his movements. Yes, he keeps his left side of his body upwards and his right side down while swimming, but what other things do you notice about this Spawn of Satan? That he switches between swimming at a perfect 70 degree angle to a perfect 110 degree angle? No? Then you are not looking enough. This fish, already looking like a penis, likes to swim at those angles. You'll see him come down from the bottom of the tank, turn around, swim to the top at either a 110 degree or 70 degree angle, go back down, and repeat. You are thinking fish usually swim at these angles, correct? Sure, they do it sometimes while going slowly, or just eating, y'know? But Meatbrick, oh Meatbrick, spazzes out whenever he does this. You'll see him slowly move along the bottom of the tank, eating rocks, and then suddenly BAM, Meatbrick does a complete 180, flips upside down, and goes to a 110 degree angle upwards, and goes back down. Meatbrick will just be swimming along, and then BAM, outta no where, he fucking LOSES it and does a circle and goes up at either a 70 degree angle or, of course, a 110 degree angle. Now, I hope, you must be thinking that there is truly something wrong with this fish. Yes, I strongly agree. This fish needs plenty of help, and I don't even think Seabear, the goldfish god, the savior of all, couldn't even save Meatbrick. Or maybe he just doesn't want to. But you see, Meatbrick, he never learns his lesson. All of this poor fishes brain cells goes RIGHT into his eyes. They keep stacking and stacking and his eyes grow bigger and bigger. Strange, huh? Well, going back to the part where I mentioned feeding, Meatbrick likes to go to the top of the tank, and he PUSHES the food away with his eye balls sticking out of the water. YES, I said it correctly, Meatbrick's eyes stick out of the god damn water while this fish attempts to eat. He pushes all the food away from Seabear, and you know what, it makes Seabear angry, and then Seabear attacks and Meatbrick runs in his strange, strange way, and then just minds his own business after Seabear calms down. He does this again, and again, and honestly, I think Meatbrick gives no shits anymore. He's just truly a retarded, bratty fish. Back to more about his behavior, Seabear will be minding his own business, and here comes Meatbrick from under him RAMMING into poor Seabear, of course Seabear barely gets phased from it, him being a giant goldfish compared to Meatbrick, and then there starts the chase scene. Ah, Meatbrick, never learning his lesson with Seabear. And if you didn't think this was enough against Seabear, Meatbrick is gay for him. Yes, I typed it correctly, you read this correctly, MEATBRICK IS GAY FOR SEABEAR. Though, Seabear is NOT gay and runs away from Meatbrick's advances (they are both 100% males, btw, we checked many times, properly). Seabear then, once again, attacks Meatbrick. Going alllll the way back to when I talked about Seabear and how he gets excited when I come home, well, Meatbrick just goes to the top of the tank and presses himself against the glass tank wall and then does this ugly, terrifying, eye shattering, brain melting, absolutely, completely GAY dancing for me. What the fuck, Meatbrick? Do you not understand? Gah, this goldfish needs more than mental help. But, I can't help not hating him. Sure, I do not like him, but I just can't hate him. He may be goldfish Satan, as Seabear is goldfish God, but Meatbrick is retarded in some sort of charming way. Seeing him do this stupid shit as I come home from a long day of studying and exams or even work, Meatbrick is just there being a retard. Of course, I am always glad to see Seabear, as Seabear is the superior fish and by far the most adorable fish in all of existence, this does not need to be said again as it is facts, but Meatbrick, man is a truly special fish. Special as in definitely autistic. I have, never, once in my life, have seen an autistic, special ed fish who enjoys to swim upside down and at strange angles. You see, we have this bubble shooter in their 20 gallon tank (yes, it is probably not big enough for both of them, shut up, I know this, we don't have room for bigger) and Meatbrick will be doing his favorite hobby of banging his head against the rocks and eating them. He'll slowly gravitate towards the bubbles, and he gets closer.... and closer... and suddenly he gets LAUNCHED upwards at a super sonic speed and loses his shit. It is so bizarre to watch a fish do this. Seabear loves to play in it too, though he does it in a much better way (and cuter way) than Meatbrick (also known as Frickheck, or Meatfrick). Seabear uses it for exercise, playing, and just as an elevator to go to the top. It is very entertaining to watch him do this, until Meatbrick gets in his way, because Meatbrick always has to do something of such.

As you can see, I have very interesting fish.

I hoped you enjoyed these descriptions of my fish, as I enjoyed writing them.

Think again before you call Seabear gay......

And remember, do not be afraid to be mean to Meatbrick. He truly deserves it.
This post was last modified: 05-16-2019, 10:48 PM by Rocket.
"You're mom gay." - Communism, 2017
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"( ͡☭ ͜ʖ ͡☭)" - Skeletal, 24-25 October 1817
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Messages In This Thread
My goldfish - by Rocket - 05-16-2019, 08:57 PM
RE: My goldfish - by Zill - 05-21-2019, 06:56 PM

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